A Really Big Shitty Fucking Wall

Not the best blur of all time. But its over with and thats all that matters.
36 hours of travel wont keep me down, just out of it completely.

I love the secrets I keep from myself. The treasures and teases, that I've left myself over the years.

When I was younger, every once in a while, when I got some money, and I'd hide it in a book in my room. I've lost alot of money that way I think.

And when going back reading through this monstrosity I call a blog, I seldom know what I'm talking about.

So today, on another day for me to practice sacreligion and my age-old anti-patriotism, let me say this. My Ulysses. come on, lets get high.

My craving to be some deep, dark, bizzare entity, is completely overtaken by me wanting to be a stand up comedian.

Kids, lets get real for a minute. Whisper every once in a while Whats the matter with that. I cant think of anything.



I found a new way baby.

Cummedyegh-La

Those Mountains Looked Like Hills, Those Fields I Knew Well

It's a song that seems to be more than it was when he wrote it down. I dont think he knew that. And it keeps going on, in a good way. Not a bad way, where you wait for the end. You don't know how much time has passed, but it seems like less, and feels way more.

I'm going to read some children books over the summer. For the marrow. Maybe some Edward Gorey, maybe some Winnie the Pooh. Perhaps i hate you.


But I dont think I really hate you.

Just the guy who took my favourite guitar.
A hollow telecaster, to fill the emptiness inside me.

Ironic?
No
Intentional Coincedential?
Only When I Wrote it down.

But i still loved it.




cummedyegha.
x(

I Dont Speak Spanish, But I Know This Song

simplicity is coming back to me again. not quite in the way that phantoms did to me last year, which still haunt me in such an amazing way now, but its still here.
my obsession with how i look, ive found also, is only for myself, not to show anyone else.
what an awful year for me to be gone, but once again ive found a new homecoming song.
which is nice, like so many other things.
if this really is my one hundreth blog, its just 13 months over pretty odd, just over 11 of the palindromobile tour, and just in time for me to wear clothes that make me feel good about myself.
i hope that as you're reading this, you know that ive been so crazy thus far, whence-ever writing, and dont plan to stop. and i think ill always let lyrics dictate melodies.
cummedyegha.

ill probably change.

Happy Doomsday To All

And to all a good night.



this has been a good week, every single day, in the afternoon.
not at all before.
this has been a good week.
this has been a pretty good week.


cummedyegha?
just not right now.

Home Is an Open Window

just you know, waiting around, for everything to catch up to me.
its be soon i beleive.
after it does, ill race to be back on track
id very much enjoy being with someone i can sing a song with
that may not be soon
but its alright
becuase until then
i have a little bit of home.
since home is an open window
on the fourth floor of a dying crowd
its round about its down and out
like thoughts would kill for thoughts could die
and the rest is up to you and eye...

Rainy Misery Rots Deep

Goodness, i hope nothing else will rot on the blog, that would be simply catostrophic. But You'll never know, if I dont.
Ive really been aching to learn the piano recently. I feel like a pianist virgin.
Nothing that exciting to blog about.
Mary Rose Seren Dipity.
Thats all fucks.
I mean folks, sorry.


i give up _p.s_


cummedyegha

I will play, the smallest violin...

well dream of me, when you pass out where your standing
maybe i will.
go do what you need to do.
maybe i will too.
ill see you tomorow
its time for me to sleep for a while
last few nights ive been sleeping less
its cause i dont know what
if i ever figure out how to draw
a murder scene where and when i like
time for an epiphany of the extreme
level out silhouettes for smiles
.
next week i wont just write bullshite.
ill pick out some pretty words for myself.
-
-
cummedyeghwho?

The Sleeping Masks

I actually have been gone more days this year than Ive been home.
which makes me wonder-
if i dont call where im living home, am i living here?

Im sick of hating that crack of light that gets through my curtains
probably because its the reason i lie to myself and tell me will keep me awake at night
I'll sleep anyways, or not sleep.
but if im honest with why i do or dont
will anything really change, when its all flipped around?


Thinking about running around a theatre.
or running away
which isnt the first time.
for the theatre thing- but away still sounds nice

i dont think id love the music i like nearly as much, if id hated last year half as much as i hate it now during last year. i thought it was the shit last year, i thought I was the SHIT.just goes to prove u how wrong those stereotypes can be. its kindof like, you cant see how hot that grill actually is, but you can see how Hot, that grill Actually is.

ill go sleep now.

and think about how much noone really misses me whenever i miss them,
or half as much as i think ill miss everyone else.

the point is nothing.

cry me now. love me later.

all of the above.

cummedyeghate

cummedycacophony

cummeyegha.

Framed in Shame.

But my favourite word is most certainly not My own name.
Parade, or glucose, or necromancy perhaps, to name a few.
Or skullfuck.

Second title, if anyone every tells me what im talking about, they get a free SG. from me.

Cumm edyeg ha.

Coffee, Capo's, Condoms and Deuteronomy

I'm going where Im going,
Adress me to your favourite time of day.
I'll peel another shade of skin off my back
I was sunburnt by the moon.






Thailand.



Cummedyegha.
(with emphasis on the cum/ye-haw)

The Nasty Smile.

I dont want to pretend the words are something their not.
At the same time, so badly I want them to just be.
We're still trying though.
And it'll make me smile a bit.

When I'm punched in the throat, you're the one who'll get fucked up.
I miss you, like a poor archer.
And I love you like the archers wife.

Im around for whenever we dont need me.
Weather forbid I can't find where I'm going.
Rest in peace.
We all know you probably got in.

The best of the best.
Will require only the basics.
And as long as we keep that up.
The drawers are full and my heart can drain.

An axis, an axis, itll tilt both ways
why dont we close the checkbook on that deal
Maybe its because im afraid of that doorknob turning
that I shut off the lights.


Cummedyegha, meet Larch.

This Uninspiring Flicker in My Ill-Inspired Head

i suppose a get over it would be necessary.
being sick is the worst.
and id rather be having fever-dreams than none at all
theyre what keep me moving all day long.
that and my hodge-podge boot-leg smashing pumpkin cd
especially on my 3d bed ridden day in a row.
but its not like a want to go outside.
just want a little peace. away from the headaches,
and all of the nervous thoughts in my mind.

i had pretty bad asthma when i was younger.
and i never once thought "what if i die?!?"
if i had wondered that, where would it have taken me?
maybe somewhere else. but if im going to go back in time
and make some alteration to my life, i already have.
so this is the way im gonna be. time travel perplexes me.
im pretty lucky though, my friend found the secret to life.



so ive got that going for me.




which is nice.





cummedyeghA

You Are My Love, the Cosmonaut

i wish i had something beautiful to say about my love and faith in music.

i dont, except i love and have faith in music, always being there for me.

every musician ever, i tip my hat to you all, every night i shall ever hear a note.






hidden words have no less meaning than
a word you dont understand
whats the point in my being
another sad old amsterand




qCrUsMtEiDlYnExGjHkAz

And Here I thought I was looking far worse...

Goodnight moon, goodbye sun
if there was room for anyone
than why did they not let me in
its written all over my hidden oh good fight.
jay is only slight to ex today, why is that?
and while im simply dying in love,
over 50% of what you love will never love you back
(maybe it just wont love me, not You)
gag me with a spoon, mrs. "sleep all night young"
i hope your husband cheats on you with his enemies.
and while you watch me throw another amplifier out the window
ill be smirking about you
you, you clearly dont know how little i paid or cared about it.
just because me, myself, and my mind had some good times
doesnt mean i meant what i said, or said what i meant
most likely scenario:
dr. jekel was just as evil as mr. hyde, just like all two-faced masks
that dark side was the evil shown,
the good side was probably more bad, it just had better secrets


well im just not going to die.
until monsters come through the floor.


cummedyegha (hand me that shotgun)

It took half the time for your intense disposition to put me out

As it took to light a meager fire beneath my racing little feet.

How sweet was today?





Ue YEA


cummedyegha

Dude, I'm FUCT

in the past 2 years of playing guitar (oh sure, i took lessons, but i never really played)i cannot once remember putting down my guitar from pain. or at least just having any pain like this.
when i started really playing summer 07, it was like, yeah, owe, im sortof a guitar virgin, who's only touched himself before, and now has officially masturbated. i think about last summer, i really started getting it on, with my guitar, and my fingers were as callased as keith richards. well no, im not sure he has "real" fingers... anywho
i left, for nearly 2 months, i didnt play, fingers were back to the quality of a noOb (haha, noobs) but i picked up my guitars, played for a week straight until i was back tomorow, no complaining, no shit, nothing

AND NOT TO MENTION
when my finger succumbed to that injury whence the finger was indeed broken and splinted, and with my homecoming being soon, learning my holiday songs was nothing a hand injury would deny me of.

i just attempted to get my FUCT on, try to really understand the cork tree, and halfway through, this pain that ive never felt began to run through my fucking finger on my left hand, made me set down my guitar.
have i been playing to much lately?
or is there something to from under... that shouldnt be copied, for any purpose...something sacred and profane and grammatical and bizarre...

maybe i need a life, and to stop being a freaky little hermit, and to set down the beast for a few days.

i also hope the MCR will play this is the best day ever at least one more time.

cummedyegh-luv

The Nonsense Bar Has Been Raised

When i die, i dont know, i want my funeral pretty fucking special.
i want black and white roses ONLY
they can make them. probably
maybe not. who knows.
i ALSO WOULD LIKE
Helena to be played.
ON THE BAGPIPES
and then it can be covered during the afterparty
thats all i got right now.

i dont know. i think im gonna go on once i die. i just have slight doubt in the back of my mind that makes me sad because im afraid i wont.
positive thinking baby.

oh, im closer to me than yesterday. more tomorow hopefully. doubtful, cause not much will change

cummedyegha lovers

sell out like a traffic cone.

so i did sell out
i was boycotting blogging till wentzy poo went for it.
bitch didnt
i did.
oh, dane cook isnt quite the douche bag we think.

no downward confessions of my depression or life, or upward confessions of how happy i am. just some thoughts about extraterrestrials.
oh and also, im slowly becoming a man. =] teehee

boycott, reinvent, tell will your in love with it.


cummmedyegha.



this is just about nothing now isnt it.

These Girls...

what is it with these girls
all of them with interest in me also have interest in

~overly expressing emotions
~god
~horses
~makeup
~crying
~me

god damn, i just dont like that, its wierd...shit man....


fucking life these days....ive really had ENOUGH OF YOU


cummedey fuck you

Rot's Like Revenge

screaming as loud as i can
while still not screaming at all.
=/
perhaps its that southern wail of j rod
or that not so emo-screamo of the oh-so emo pete
or the glorious scratch from four year strong
and sonny's belt from first to last.

idk, i wanna get my own scream.

so i can yell as loud as i fucking want to to anyone.

and they'll look down and say


thats ford









cummedy mother fucking yegha